Christmas memories 2010

Well it was Olivia's 9th Christmas and wow the excitement was bubbling over for at least a week leading up to the big event! I always worry about how much and what she is getting as she has 2 full Christmas's, and well this year was no exception. At her dad's house she received a TV from Santa, and then here she scored an Ipod touch as well as a TV...The only thing that saves my thoughts from going to a dark place over all of this is the fact that when she was getting ready for bed Christmas day she said that as excited and happy she is with all her gifts her favorite part of the day was spending it with all the people she loves...And yes that's the exact moment that the strings on my heart were not only tugged but pulled with as much force as she possibly could have.

Ethan's 1st Christmas wasn't what I had hoped it would be for the only reason that he was a pretty sick little boy with more ear infections #6 to be exact!!! I took him to the clinic on the 23rd and started him on his meds but it took about 4 days for him to perk up. He was not interested in presents or Christmas, and actually slept through Olivia opening not only her gifts but his as well...Sorry Ethan ;)

As always Santa, and our family and friends spoiled us...there were more gifts under the tree to open than one could imagine! But like Olivia my favorite part of the day was sitting around the table at mom's enjoying the company of my family, while we all enjoyed the hard work that mom put into her fabulous meal!!! And then when we got home that had the fireplace going, and we were all cozy and snuggled up in our jammies having a little snuggle before we were all tucked in for the night!!! Maybe I should start preparing for next year now ;)

My hope for all of you is that you were also blessed to be surrounded by the ones you love, and that your hearts were filled with love, happiness, and laughter xo

Tis' the season!

Every time I turn on the TV I tend to catch the Walmart comerical where the daughter is living away from home, and her parents surprise her by showing up at her door with gifts..It gets me every single time!! So yes tis' the season for me to be emotional, my heart filled with love, joy, and gratitude about all I have in my life, and filled with hope about what's to come in the coming year!! <3

You can count on me....

So my morning started something like this...
Olivia: "I'm so lucky that I have so many friends, and so many really good friends"
Me: "Yes your right Olivia, you're very lucky"
Olivia: "There is the little boy in English that never has anyone to play with at recess usually, and it really makes me sad"
Me: " Oh really?"
Olivia: " ya, but if were outside playing and I see him, I ask him to play especially if it's not just a girl game"
Me: "I'm really glad to hear this Olivia, I bet it makes him have a better day.."
Olivia : "Ya probably...what's for breakfast?"

If Olivia only knew how inspiring this conversation was to me, or how proud she made me to hear it wasn't a big deal, it's just the right thing to do...At the tender,raw age of 9 she sees that this isn't the way she would want to be treated and does something about it and doesn't even see the impact on the lives around her, she is showing her friends what the meaning of true friendship is all about, and making someone else have a bit of a better day..Olivia you make me so proud of you every single day, even when you don't realize it.

Have you ever heard a song that completely inspires you??? Well today was in Oprah's words my "Ah ha" moment with a song...Look up the song "You can count on me" by Bruno Mars http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0toCy9S1kak First it has such a happy beat to it even if you don't listen to the words that it puts a smile across your face, but then if you sit back and listen to the words, really listen to the words, it's impossible not to sit there and think of all your friends...

When I listen to the song I think of all the conversations with my friends (and when I mean friends this also includes you mom) Some of the conversations involved A LOT of tears, these tears could have been from hurt, pain, as well as happiness, and hope. To name a few of our conversations they have been around new loves, engagements, break ups, buying houses, moving away from home, pregnancies, births of our babies, parenting dilemmas, you name it we have talked about it. Friends are one of the biggest blessings in life. I truly believe that it's more important to have a few true friends than many associates and these people that I consider my friends, I know that if I called, texted or emailed them and said the words "I need you" they would come in a heart beat no matter what the distance is between us, and these people know that I would do the same for them. This may seem odd to some people that I would stop what is going on in my life to rush to the side of a friend that needed me, but my friends aren't just people that are there for the good times these are people that have been there through thick and thin, have seem me at my highest and my lowest and besides my parents, these friends are my biggest fans.

So to you my friends...You can count on me, like 1, 2, 3 and I'll be there, and I know when I need it I can count on you like 4, 3, 2, and you'll be there...cause that's what friends are supposed to do

Comfort food

This is what I want right now...and weird part is I don't even like pumpkin..This picture was taken from a friend on facebook she was making it and I seen a picture of her made loaves and well now my mouth is watering...damn picture of yummy warm comfort food...

Pure Heaven....

Yesterday was the Christmas craft fair, and there Olivia spotted a candy apple, it was $6, and I was sure she would take 2 bites and then find it too rich and not want to eat anymore. I tried to talk her out of it but she was determined that this was the treat she was getting...I asked her to tell me about it and here it is...

This is from the mouth of my babe...

"It was an apple on a stick that was dipped in caramel, then dipped in chocolate, and then rolled in coconut...It tasted like heaven, was the most delicious thing I ever tasted and would have 1 a day if I could...It was worth the $6...If I could have one for my birthday I would it was that good...if you ever have the chance to have one you really have to..."

To my shock it was devoured pretty quick and I was even offered a bite as long as I didn't eat all the caramel...LOL...might have to make another stop for another one before the weekend is up!

Halloween 2010 so maybe a few days late :)

This year Olivia was with her dad to go trick or treating which probably worked out best for her, seeing Ethan wouldn't have gotten the same joy out of running from door to door filling up a bag of candy as quickly as possible. That's what Olivia does but regardlelss, she still took the time to come and see her mama and show me her costume...Olivia was the cutest nerd around...LOL...and surprisingly she made a pretty good one, hair up in high pig tails, suspenders holding her jeans up WAAAY too high...

Olivia and her friend Brett Oct 31/2010

Ethan was a dragon, but seeing his smile lights up the room there was no way he could be a scary dragon, so I figured Puff the Magic Dragon is who he was...His Halloween was a little more interesting in the fact that he had no more interest in being dressed up and seeing others dressed than what I would enjoy getting a root canal...

Olivia and I did teach Ethan a trick and in my opinion it was the cutest thing possible ( I am a little biased though) We would ask Ethan "what does Puff say" and he returned a cute "RAAAWWWRRR"

As promised!!!

My baby is growing up!!!!

So Ethan is only 9 months, 3 weeks old if I want to be technical and this morning he took 10 steps!!! I have such mixed emotions about it. I'm celebrating this huge milestone of course but I have to admit there is a very small part of me deep inside my heart that just wants to cry...He's my baby, just a few short months ago he needed me for everything, now he's gaining independence and doing things on his own, and this is only going to happen more and more. Now don't get me wrong I'm so beyond proud of him, and love love love watching him learn new things, but I'm his mama, and I'm allowed to be sad for just a few mins.

 Being home alone with him while he takes these steps is making it a bit hard to get it on video but stay tuned and I will get one hopefully this evening :)

How things can change :)

It's amazing how much a life can change in a relatively short period of time. I remember a time not that long ago (well ok maybe a few years) where it would have been impossible for me to sit at home on a Friday or Saturday night and do nothing. Especially if I didn't have to be home (no kids) well this weekend arrived, and Fri night both kids were gone for the night. I went to bootcamp which was a killer!! I got through it though...but the funny part of it was when our trainer asked us what our plans for the night were...My answer was an enthusiastic "Going home getting into bed and listening to NOTHING" lol. Who would have thought that on a night when I didn't have the kids, and a Friday, that all I can think of is going home and crawling into bed??? But I must admit it was a great night, I enjoyed it and woke up the next morning feeling great! A full 8 hours of sleep is very rare these days so when I get the chance to get it I usually don't pass it up...Now don't get me wrong, had there been something going on that my friends would have been involved in I would have taken the chance to go out into the adult world which I don't seem to be connected to either, but it was a cold, wet, windy fall evening and it was great to just crawl under those comfy covers that were calling my name all day and tune out the harsh cold evening, and best of all listen to absolutely nothing!

My beautiful perfect children

Let me introduce you to my children...

Olivia is my fish, and when I say fish I don't mean she excels at swimming (although she is pretty damn good) I mean she is a Pisces. She is my soft hearted, beautiful, fair, blond headed daughter. She is 9 going on 19. She is a dancer and loves it. This month her goal is to attend Juilliard in N.Y to further her education. I said this month because just this summer she wanted to be a veterinarian :) She is in grade 4 and is an old sensitive soul. I know that when push comes to shove she is the one person I can depend on to help me out with whatever I may ask of her. She is my daughter, my first born, my princess. She is my creative soul.

Ethan is my bull, no not a zodiac bull, just a bull...He is a true boy. There is nothing dainty about my boy, and although when he's older he may not be happy with me sharing this he loves giving kisses and hugs, and does enjoy a cuddle with his mama when he wakes up from his naps (maybe my most favorite times I spend with him). There is no better feeling that holding his little body all snuggled in, knowing that he needs me and depends on me for his survival. It's really quiet scary when I think of it that way, but in the same breath so rewarding. Ethan's personality is only starting to shine through as he is just 9 1/2 months but I can say for sure he's a mama's boy. I'm so excited to see him grow and develop and although there will be some challenges thoughout the years every ounce of it is worth it.

I love my kids, they have moulded me into the adult that I am today, they keep me on my toes, they make me smile, they make my heart swell so big it feel like it will burst and they bring happy tears to my eyes all the time!

Olivia and Ethan, know that I love you more than anything, and will do anything for you. xoxo

Strength...

What is strength ?

It is a noun that's defined as the quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor.

OK yes that is strength, but real strength, the kind that when the world seems to turn it's back on you and you want to crawl into bed and be swallowed, left alone with your own thoughts of misery, but yet you get up, you shower and you put a smile on your face through all the pain that you are feeling that my friends is strength. Yes I have dealt with this kind of strength and have seen many people deal with it. I've heard a million things about it "I'm so proud of you", "Not many could have done what you have done" but really what did I do that was so remarkable or any more than anyone else would have done in my position? All I did was decide to get out of bed and continue living.

What about the people who live through a natural disaster and everything that they know is taken from them in a blink of an eye? Are they strong? Do they represent the definition of strength? Of course they do, or at least I think they do. I can't imagine how so many people can decide to wake up and keep living when everything and everyone that they love is gone in an instant. But they do what else is there for them to do?

What makes anyone strong? I think we all exhibit strength in our everyday lives. Some days more than others. But if we all look deep down inside of us we all have the strength. For me my children make me strong, make me be the person I am.

No matter what life hands me on any given day, and yes when I'm faced with the difficulties and am unable to see the light at the end I decide to wake up, and keep living. Cause when I look at the big picture of my life it may not be the way I planned it to be, but it's exactly where I should be, where I'm meant to be. So no matter what I will always continue to keep holding on...

ME

Who am I??  As I sit and wonder this exact same thing I can remember once doing what I thought was a silly survey on Facebook one time. You had to list multiple things about yourself, and I thought what a great way to describe who I am...I'm a list person. I love lists of any kind.

1. I have the 2 sweetest kids in the world that I love dearly. Olivia and Ethan are my life.
2. I love lists :)! Ok so maybe you already seen that but hey I love them. I work much better when I have my "to do list", I spend less money at the grocery store when I go with a list in hand.
3. My family means the world to me. I don't only consider my family my parents, and children, but my best friends are my family too.
4. I can't sing along to a song without googling the lyrics and knowing the words that I'm singing.
5. Speaking of google, I LOVE google.
6. Smiling makes me feel complete and at peace
7. I have been handed a few hands in my life that have taken a lot of strength to get through and figure out, but I'm a much better person because of all of those situations.
8. I hate cooking, but feel I'm doing a lot better in the kitchen.
9. I can now appreciate sitting in a room and listening to absolutely nothing
10. I have learned to make myself a healthier person. Mind, body and soul, and am so thankful for it
11. Sometimes I like to cry. It soothes the soul, to me it's like rain on a hot summer day
12. I no longer let anyone walk over me. If I feel someone is doing me wrong I stand up for myself.
13. I don't like confrontation.
14. I value all of the relationships that I have in my life.
15. I try to look at everything and every situation as a positive situation, and or a learning experience
16. I have many "plans" that are constantly changing.
17. I wouldn't change anything about my life. There is a reason everything happened, and I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at this exact moment.
18. I completed my first 5km run this year, which was something I have always wanted to do. Now I want to be able to work towards running 10kms.
19. I love the first snowfall of the winter, the first real beach day of the summer, the first flower that blooms in the spring, and the smell of the first fall day.
20. I am a mom, and I will forever be grateful because I learned from the best mom there was.