Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My baby is growing up!!!!

So Ethan is only 9 months, 3 weeks old if I want to be technical and this morning he took 10 steps!!! I have such mixed emotions about it. I'm celebrating this huge milestone of course but I have to admit there is a very small part of me deep inside my heart that just wants to cry...He's my baby, just a few short months ago he needed me for everything, now he's gaining independence and doing things on his own, and this is only going to happen more and more. Now don't get me wrong I'm so beyond proud of him, and love love love watching him learn new things, but I'm his mama, and I'm allowed to be sad for just a few mins.

 Being home alone with him while he takes these steps is making it a bit hard to get it on video but stay tuned and I will get one hopefully this evening :)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

How things can change :)

It's amazing how much a life can change in a relatively short period of time. I remember a time not that long ago (well ok maybe a few years) where it would have been impossible for me to sit at home on a Friday or Saturday night and do nothing. Especially if I didn't have to be home (no kids) well this weekend arrived, and Fri night both kids were gone for the night. I went to bootcamp which was a killer!! I got through it though...but the funny part of it was when our trainer asked us what our plans for the night were...My answer was an enthusiastic "Going home getting into bed and listening to NOTHING" lol. Who would have thought that on a night when I didn't have the kids, and a Friday, that all I can think of is going home and crawling into bed??? But I must admit it was a great night, I enjoyed it and woke up the next morning feeling great! A full 8 hours of sleep is very rare these days so when I get the chance to get it I usually don't pass it up...Now don't get me wrong, had there been something going on that my friends would have been involved in I would have taken the chance to go out into the adult world which I don't seem to be connected to either, but it was a cold, wet, windy fall evening and it was great to just crawl under those comfy covers that were calling my name all day and tune out the harsh cold evening, and best of all listen to absolutely nothing!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My beautiful perfect children

Let me introduce you to my children...

Olivia is my fish, and when I say fish I don't mean she excels at swimming (although she is pretty damn good) I mean she is a Pisces. She is my soft hearted, beautiful, fair, blond headed daughter. She is 9 going on 19. She is a dancer and loves it. This month her goal is to attend Juilliard in N.Y to further her education. I said this month because just this summer she wanted to be a veterinarian :) She is in grade 4 and is an old sensitive soul. I know that when push comes to shove she is the one person I can depend on to help me out with whatever I may ask of her. She is my daughter, my first born, my princess. She is my creative soul.

Ethan is my bull, no not a zodiac bull, just a bull...He is a true boy. There is nothing dainty about my boy, and although when he's older he may not be happy with me sharing this he loves giving kisses and hugs, and does enjoy a cuddle with his mama when he wakes up from his naps (maybe my most favorite times I spend with him). There is no better feeling that holding his little body all snuggled in, knowing that he needs me and depends on me for his survival. It's really quiet scary when I think of it that way, but in the same breath so rewarding. Ethan's personality is only starting to shine through as he is just 9 1/2 months but I can say for sure he's a mama's boy. I'm so excited to see him grow and develop and although there will be some challenges thoughout the years every ounce of it is worth it.

I love my kids, they have moulded me into the adult that I am today, they keep me on my toes, they make me smile, they make my heart swell so big it feel like it will burst and they bring happy tears to my eyes all the time!

Olivia and Ethan, know that I love you more than anything, and will do anything for you. xoxo

Monday, October 18, 2010


What is strength ?

It is a noun that's defined as the quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor.

OK yes that is strength, but real strength, the kind that when the world seems to turn it's back on you and you want to crawl into bed and be swallowed, left alone with your own thoughts of misery, but yet you get up, you shower and you put a smile on your face through all the pain that you are feeling that my friends is strength. Yes I have dealt with this kind of strength and have seen many people deal with it. I've heard a million things about it "I'm so proud of you", "Not many could have done what you have done" but really what did I do that was so remarkable or any more than anyone else would have done in my position? All I did was decide to get out of bed and continue living.

What about the people who live through a natural disaster and everything that they know is taken from them in a blink of an eye? Are they strong? Do they represent the definition of strength? Of course they do, or at least I think they do. I can't imagine how so many people can decide to wake up and keep living when everything and everyone that they love is gone in an instant. But they do what else is there for them to do?

What makes anyone strong? I think we all exhibit strength in our everyday lives. Some days more than others. But if we all look deep down inside of us we all have the strength. For me my children make me strong, make me be the person I am.

No matter what life hands me on any given day, and yes when I'm faced with the difficulties and am unable to see the light at the end I decide to wake up, and keep living. Cause when I look at the big picture of my life it may not be the way I planned it to be, but it's exactly where I should be, where I'm meant to be. So no matter what I will always continue to keep holding on...

Sunday, October 17, 2010


Who am I??  As I sit and wonder this exact same thing I can remember once doing what I thought was a silly survey on Facebook one time. You had to list multiple things about yourself, and I thought what a great way to describe who I am...I'm a list person. I love lists of any kind.

1. I have the 2 sweetest kids in the world that I love dearly. Olivia and Ethan are my life.
2. I love lists :)! Ok so maybe you already seen that but hey I love them. I work much better when I have my "to do list", I spend less money at the grocery store when I go with a list in hand.
3. My family means the world to me. I don't only consider my family my parents, and children, but my best friends are my family too.
4. I can't sing along to a song without googling the lyrics and knowing the words that I'm singing.
5. Speaking of google, I LOVE google.
6. Smiling makes me feel complete and at peace
7. I have been handed a few hands in my life that have taken a lot of strength to get through and figure out, but I'm a much better person because of all of those situations.
8. I hate cooking, but feel I'm doing a lot better in the kitchen.
9. I can now appreciate sitting in a room and listening to absolutely nothing
10. I have learned to make myself a healthier person. Mind, body and soul, and am so thankful for it
11. Sometimes I like to cry. It soothes the soul, to me it's like rain on a hot summer day
12. I no longer let anyone walk over me. If I feel someone is doing me wrong I stand up for myself.
13. I don't like confrontation.
14. I value all of the relationships that I have in my life.
15. I try to look at everything and every situation as a positive situation, and or a learning experience
16. I have many "plans" that are constantly changing.
17. I wouldn't change anything about my life. There is a reason everything happened, and I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at this exact moment.
18. I completed my first 5km run this year, which was something I have always wanted to do. Now I want to be able to work towards running 10kms.
19. I love the first snowfall of the winter, the first real beach day of the summer, the first flower that blooms in the spring, and the smell of the first fall day.
20. I am a mom, and I will forever be grateful because I learned from the best mom there was.