Again?? Really???

Ok I'll warn you now, this isn't a feel good post, more of a vent or a rant...

Since September Ethan has been diagnosed with 7 yes you read that right 7 ear infections, again tonight I picked him up at daycare was informed that he was digging at his ears yet AGAIN, so home we ran to pack a little bag, and then off to the clinic we went...waited for about 45 mins which I will add wasn't too bad considering we were # 19 on the list and then finally got ushered in to see the dr...One quick look and it was confirmed what I thought ANOTHER infection...

We have already been into the ENT specialist last month and were told that 1 more infection = tubes....I have been wishing this last infection ever since, and now that it is upon me I'm wishing it away, in all honesty it's very bittersweet...glad to be moving forward but wishing it was because he never got another infection...Ahh well a call to Dr. Phong tomorrow and hopefully a surgery time will be in the mail in the next few weeks with tubes beng put in sometime this spring..ahh my poor baby...

Ahhh I thinik I feel a little bit better

10 years old??? What?!?! You must be kidding me

So my sweet little pre-teen (gasp),  had her birthday last week...I'm told she turned 10, but thinking it can't be possible...10 years, that's a full decade, that I have successfully kissed the boo boos, scared the monsters away, and in recent years talked about boys, and fights with friends...things will get better, and easier right?????

She told me she had a great birthday, her class went skating, party that night with her friends, and 4 little girls spending the night! Is it wrong to be thankful this was all at her dad's house???? Sunday when she arrived home we had a celebration here for her, best friends, family, tacos and cake!! What could make it any better?? A little friendly competition on the Wii playing "Just Dance", and being spoiled with presents!!!

My birthday wish for you Olivia, is that you always be you. I know I'm your mom and maybe slightly biased but you are perfect just the way you are. I couldn't ask for a better daughter. You are the best big sister Ethan could ever ask for! Please don't rush growing up, enjoy your childhood for as long as you can.

I love you and you make me so proud in everything that you do!

xo

Empty

I feel like I have been neglectful, but at the same time just not much to say.......................

We have vocals!!!

Yes it's true!!! I'm bubbling with joy every time I hear Ethan utter the sounds he is now making, during a VERY long tiring weekend (another blog time) of Ethan being sick he way laying on my shoulder and said mama in this whiny needing his mama voice, my eyes welled full of tears as he hung of to him mama and all I could do was love on that little body even more!! The next day he was already rolling his tongue around even more and is now also saying dada, lala, nana, and when he wants to call Olivia he throws his head back and yells at the top of his lungs "AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"...All I can do is laugh!!!! I'll try to get him talking on video and post it once he's feeling better

My very special birthday boy

Dear Ethan...

Where has the last year gone? You are the most amazing little boy I have had the pleasure to watch grow...This last year you have learned so many amazing things, now let me tell you your amazing story...

I had been having a few hard days of thinking I was in labor and then being sent home to continue waiting for you to be ready to make your amazing arrival.

I went to bed on Monday Jan 11th knowing that my due date was the very next day and I was going to be seeing the dr that morning to figure out how long I would have to wait to meet you, but like always you had a plan of your own..

I woke up having some contractions around 2am, they were getting a little intense but knowing i would be seeing the dr in just a few hrs I decided that I would try to keep myself comfortable for a few hrs. I was drifting back and forth to sleep inbetween contractions till about 240 when they were getting stronger. At this time I decided that I would have a shower and get myself ready for the hospital thinking it might relax me so that I could get a few more hrs of sleep afterwards. I ended up having to give you dad a call around 3 because the pain was getting to be too much for me to be home alone and although in the back of my mind I knew I was in labor I was too scared to go to the hospital that they would just send me home yet again...

Your dad arrived about 20 mins after I called him and was telling me it was time to go now! I kept refusing saying that I didn't want to go but couldn't continue to deal with the pain alone. He was timing the contractions and when he realized they were about 2-3 mins apart he gave me the option of getting ready to go to the hospital or he would be calling the ambulance to take me, so I reluctantly went with him knowing I didn't want to be taken by ambulance.

We arrived at the hospital around 445am, the nurses got me changed and into bed and hooked me up to the monitor to see the contractions, and monitor your heartbeat, sure enough as soon as they got me strapped on nothing was happening, I was very emotional at this point as I had my hopes up that I would be holding you within a few hrs.

About 30 mins later she was preparing to send me home and thought she best check to see if I was dialated at all and sure enough I was 7cms!! Whoo hoo I'm staying and you were on your way...To say that chaos, and panick started at this point is a bit of an understatement. The nurses were running around getting things ready for you to be born, your dad had to run up and get the paper work ready for me to be admitted

By 5:45am they had me set up in the delivery room so at this point we really knew it was only a matter of time before you would be here in my arms. Dr. Bathune was the dr that was on call at the time and he was really great helping mommy the whole time. I started pushing around 6am, and at 6:27am on January 12, 2010 you were born!! It was one of the most amazing things that I had ever gone through. You were here crying and PERFECT!!! It really was love at first sight! You were placed in my arms after the nurses checked you over and all I could do was look at you, kiss you and talk to you!

 I'm so proud of you my little man!! I"ll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as i'm living my baby you'll be!!!

Christmas memories 2010

Well it was Olivia's 9th Christmas and wow the excitement was bubbling over for at least a week leading up to the big event! I always worry about how much and what she is getting as she has 2 full Christmas's, and well this year was no exception. At her dad's house she received a TV from Santa, and then here she scored an Ipod touch as well as a TV...The only thing that saves my thoughts from going to a dark place over all of this is the fact that when she was getting ready for bed Christmas day she said that as excited and happy she is with all her gifts her favorite part of the day was spending it with all the people she loves...And yes that's the exact moment that the strings on my heart were not only tugged but pulled with as much force as she possibly could have.

Ethan's 1st Christmas wasn't what I had hoped it would be for the only reason that he was a pretty sick little boy with more ear infections #6 to be exact!!! I took him to the clinic on the 23rd and started him on his meds but it took about 4 days for him to perk up. He was not interested in presents or Christmas, and actually slept through Olivia opening not only her gifts but his as well...Sorry Ethan ;)

As always Santa, and our family and friends spoiled us...there were more gifts under the tree to open than one could imagine! But like Olivia my favorite part of the day was sitting around the table at mom's enjoying the company of my family, while we all enjoyed the hard work that mom put into her fabulous meal!!! And then when we got home that had the fireplace going, and we were all cozy and snuggled up in our jammies having a little snuggle before we were all tucked in for the night!!! Maybe I should start preparing for next year now ;)

My hope for all of you is that you were also blessed to be surrounded by the ones you love, and that your hearts were filled with love, happiness, and laughter xo

Tis' the season!

Every time I turn on the TV I tend to catch the Walmart comerical where the daughter is living away from home, and her parents surprise her by showing up at her door with gifts..It gets me every single time!! So yes tis' the season for me to be emotional, my heart filled with love, joy, and gratitude about all I have in my life, and filled with hope about what's to come in the coming year!! <3